Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
