would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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