Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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