What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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