you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
