so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
