How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
