Duck Duck Cougar?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
