zippers are such a cool invention
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
