no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
