I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize