No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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