He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We left the knife in your bed.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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