For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
