your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Everclear isn't food dammit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
