I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
