god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
