he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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