So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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