well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize