I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
