I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize