all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
