Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
