U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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