When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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