I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
