The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I need help removing her.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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