singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
