it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
