I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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