More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
