I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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