I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
