Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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