Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
