Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
