It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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