Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
