but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
