What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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