You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
