just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
