I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
