Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
