Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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