he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
