Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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