Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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