so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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