We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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