So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
