He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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