so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
