your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Randomize
