he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
