At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize