My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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