Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
