Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
