hotel room ftw
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So vagazzling was a success
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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