Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize