No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
