shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
